Letting go.. and finding more..

While crossing Times Square on my way home from work last night I was thinking of some of my favorite pictures from the past 5 years clicked either at home or Babson or on vacations with family and friends..

Suddenly and I don’t know how, I recalled a scene for Dil Chahta Hai when in the last scene of the movie Aamir Khan passes by his old college and in flashback sees himself standing and laughing with his two best friends. Life then is simple, uncomplicated and his old self that is unsympathetic to the world in general, turns on him and mocks him for what he has become.. his ego, unrelenting nature and lack of forgiveness..

It all connected for me when I went back home and saw all my pictures, the smiles, the memories, the innocence and the look that challenged me, mocked me and made me remember one of my closest friends.. A friend who was.. no is.. a part of my soul… someone who has shared my tears, joys and moments and someone who along the passage of time lost me and I lost him..

The pictures made me question my present self.. What I had become and why I had become so set in my ideas, my thoughts and yes, maybe my ego…

After a lot of deliberation and a battle with myself I called him and we both realized how much miscommunication had happened.. calls and messages that never went through and moments where both had felt betrayed and hurt because of the other one..

Sometimes its redemption to know that when you have been hurting about something, the other one has been equally tortured.. but last night when I realized how much I had hurt him, whether unknowingly.. but I had.. It hurt me even more..

I have written this very personal thought down today so that if whoever reads it has a friend who they think doesn’t love them anymore, should realize that that the friend probably sitting half way across the world is also sitting and wondering why you don’t love them anymore..